We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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