The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
