He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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