dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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