come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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