i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
