Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Vodka?
Forever.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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