just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
