I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
