I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Randomize