Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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