I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Drunk is not a location!
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
