Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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