It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
