Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
