I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
