We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Randomize
