help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
