He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
