Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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