I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
