I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Randomize
