1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Duck Duck Cougar?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
