Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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