i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
