I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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