its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
