How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
