At least make sure they are 18
Why
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Congratulations! We have a period
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
