I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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