By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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