Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?

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(214): View more from Texas

apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......

(817): View more from Texas

told ya

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(816): View more from Missouri

I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science

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(810): View more from Michigan

The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness

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(616): View more from Michigan

I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.

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(276): View more from Virginia

Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.

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