Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
