peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
