i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
