Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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