wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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