sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
