Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
