you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
