just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize