is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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