you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
