I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
