she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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