i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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