He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im holly from the hills drunk
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
