She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
