Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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