Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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