Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
