If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
