I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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