i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize