Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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