I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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