Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
