So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I party with great urgency now.
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